Don't Be Surprised by Sin

Sometimes it's hard to have a loving spirit when dealing with other coaches, board members, parents, fans, etc.  Frankly, coaches are an arrogant bunch, boards have personal agenda's and personality conflicts, fans get worked up, etc.  So guess what: there's sin at work in Christian organizations.  Surprised?  Shouldn't be.  There are going to be times when it will be bad - like can't sleep, yell at the walls bad.  There have been times when I've been incredibly sad, hurt or angry.  People I thought I had their support from, who I felt betrayed by.  Dark days.

Here are some suggestions:

Don't take it out on your wife.  She might even be part of the board or have a support position on the team, so she's going to feel these things too.  She may be sensitive and easily upset.  Know you wife and be careful how you discuss these situations with her.  You may feel that you can just unload, but that may do more damage than good.  Be wise about this.

We are told not to hold a grudge and we're told to be wise.  If someone offends you, don't keep a list, but be aware of the problems - let that inform your future actions.  You'll have people who will treat you badly, then accuse you of not being Christ like - the contradictions will be endless.  The goal is to respect them and be aware of what they can be trusted with.

Turn these situations into lessons that you can give to your players.  Got some coach who says they don't need anyone to tell them how to coach soccer?  Talk to the players about the importance of being teachable.  I always have a short message for the players at the start of practice - good time to share the lessons.  The players need to know that this isn't just a kid thing: adults will and do behave badly.

Focus on what you can control and are responsible for.  Sometimes you'll want to try something out in the program or see a need, then get shot down.  If your idea or initiative isn't coaching related, then let it go.  This can be hard since what you see may be a real problem or opportunity, but still, need to let it go.

Recognize that the other party may have some growing to do.  Out of your hands.  God's problem, not yours.

Learn from the situation.  Maybe you should have prepped some other folks first on what you were planning on doing - build support individually.  Maybe you should have briefed the board chairman first.  Maybe a discussion with some parents.

Repent of your own sin.  Chances are you've contributed to the problem.

Recognize that there may be a member of your board who has tons of ideas and always seems to be tinkering with the program.  Sometimes these personality types can be hard to relate to, but don't shut them down - listen and take time to process.  They may have a string of unworkable ideas, but that next idea maybe just what the program needs.

Keep a journal and wrestle with your thoughts there.  You may generate some ideas and strategies for later.

So, don't be surprised by conflict and sin.  You'll get through it.